The Chocolate Wrapper

The Dove Dark Chocolate wrapper I had today said: "Wink at someone driving past."
However, I think that old lady with the robin's-egg blue hair took it the wrong way.
I think I need to track her down and apologize.
In other words, adhofhq w- fja f.
That's what the bouncy ball had to say.
I think it's elvish for "root beer".
If I could say one thing in elvish, it would probably be "root beer".
Or "I am not on fire".
I think I'll call the blue-haired lady Mrs. Robin.

Questions to Myself

Questions:
1.) Why did this happen to me?
2.) When will it end?
3.) Can you give me a hug?

Answers:
1.) Because I tripped over a baby gate.
2.) Probably when I get a band-aid. That always makes things better.
3.) Hug time!

I Need an Ace of Clubs.

I need an ace of clubs. Badly.
Anyways, I feel like a failure today.
I sort of set a goal for myself to never drink alcohol, (Outside of cough syrup) and failed.
My dad had poured himself some Coke-a-Cola and put a little alcohol in it and I decided to sneak a drink.
FYI: I had no idea there was anything in it until afterword. Stupid me didn't think to sniff for it first.
I puked in the sink and I still feel like my mouth is burning.
Serves me right for putting it in my mouth in the first place.
I'm listening to some Black Sails in the Sunset by AFI to try and cleanse myself.
I just need to forget it ever happened.
In other news; Texas said something about ceding from the union. It's probably just to make a point, but Chuck Norris said that if they do, he'll run for president there.
I'm going to have to move to Texas.
Also, I'm doing an extra project for Mr. Divine for extra credit. I already have a 97% in his class, but I want it anyway.
Stupid overachiever...
Anywho, my original one is supposed to be on France (done), and the extra one is on Panama.
Yes, I am using Van Halen for the music.
The opportunity was too perfect.
Got a dress yesterday.
Normally, I'm not one for dresses, but this one is Jeffree Star-pink and black plaid with a sort of farmgirl look to it (ruffles around the sleeves and buttons down the front with a round neck. It cuts off about an inch above my knee.). And I got this cool triple-belt thing that goes around my waist. (Several dirty jokes were made about the belt today)
American Idol is on, so I have to scoot.
See you later, my marshmellows!

Drag, Drop, Click, Whooho!

Hey. I'm Paige. And I'm a solitare addict.
But no one knows that. Not even you. You don't know because I never told you. Because if I told you, I'd have to kill you. You'd know too much and the Penguin Army doen't like that.
Screw the Bear Calvary.
You should subscribe to this blog because I'm a funny little monster. Or at least that's what the Panduh told me.
Panduh is a person, not a panda. She's my best friend and she will kill you if you even have a fleeting thought about killing me.
As if you could kill me... I'm a freaking ninja. You can't kill a ninja unless you are a ninja. And even then, you would have to find me first.
And no, Chuck Norris won't help you.
Neither will Bruce Lee.
Jackie Chan is not available.
And Jade Puget... well, you don't deserve him.
No... Adam Sandler won't do any good at all unless you intend to use him as a sheild to attempt deflecting my shurikins. And even still, I'm a ninja.
A sheild won't do you any good at all.