The End of Another Love Song

You were my 11:11 wish, now you keep me awake all night crying.

Damn the male species.

Save Me, I'm Drowning

I hate it but I love it.

He makes me feel fantastic. I know he cares about me, so why does it seem to me that I'm nothing more than a friend to him? I love the way I feel around him, when it's just us, sitting there, talking, playing Halo, whatever. I just feel like he doesn't want me to be close to him anymore. Like he's hinting to me that he's through with me. I feel like all I do is get on his nerves. I'm just one more thing to have to fuss over. He just moved here, he feels like he's got better things to worry about than the girl he met in FYE at the mall who worries about everything. I'm a nuisance. I'm an irritant. I'm boring. I'm not worth his time.

I just wonder if I should put him out of his misery and end it all now.

I can feel it in my gut; he doesn't want me here anymore.

Confessions of a Self-Concious Teen #15;

No matter how many times you tell me that I look good, I'm still going to think "If I can loose 20 more pounds..."

So, I finnally work up the courage to stand up for myself, and I'm the bad guy. What. The. Fuck.

My phone hates me right now...

I'm trying to talk to Zach and it turns off like, 4 times in a row... grrr....

Hey, I just fixed up Blogger with my phone.

Testing. :P

Pointless Typing at 11:45

It's almost midnight, and while I was freakishly tired like, 20 minuites ago, I'm not now.
Odd, isn't it?

><"

Can someone please just hit me in the face? I sooooo need it right now.

For some reason, being honest with people just seems to make them hate me all the more, which considering I care about them, makes me absolutely hate myself. I know the whole "the truth will set you free" thing sounds good, but in reality, it's making me want to shoot myself in the head.

Ugh...

Sorry I've taken so long to post. I've had a lot on my mind, and no time to type it out.

So, while I've been very upset/angry lately, I'm going to take a few minutes to think about what's going good right now.

Other than some sort of perpetual headache I've had for the past week, I've been in good health, which is always nice.
Julia wants to hook me up with some guy (again), and I may take her up on that for once.

However, my mind keeps going back to the fact that my X-Box is undergoing an E-74 error that's really making me mad.

>:(

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/solitareninja

It Was Fun

Whelp... No more Tommy...
Damn it, I hate myself this week...

Let's Hear it for the Boy

I have this amazing thing; it's called a boyfriend. Mine is named Tommy and he has a special little talent. He can make me smile longer, laugh louder, dance till I fall over, and feel absolutely beautiful. I didn't know that it was possible to feel this fantastic. I get always get nervous before I see him, and my heart jumps around like a Mexican jumping bean. But when I see him, it's all better. I'm scared to know how this ends, but I know that I'm enjoying the ride too much to care.

Spring Break Begins

Ah, spring break... Things are finally warming up, no school, see some friends (like the wonderful miss Sara who stayed at my house last night)...
And now I have a boyfriend.
His name is Tommy, but I call him Major Tohm (that's how he insists I spell it). He plays guitar and works at the library. He's already graduated, and has his GED, but is just a year older than me. Not to mention he's the cutest.
Ah, life is good.
:D

I'm An Idiot

Restating the above title; I'm a freaking idiot... I hate how as soon as I start to think I'm getting somewhere with this kid, he stabs me in the face. You think I would learn, but no... I have to be stupid as hell about this one boy... Does everyone do this at some point or am I the only one who really likes the kid who keeps making me feel like shit and rejecting the one who makes me feel like I'm worth something in this world?

My High is Over

My high is over.
Didn't get to round two interviews at Gatton.
Don't talk to me.

Don't Stop Me Now

Haha, look out world, I'm on the roads.
Got my permit today, and dad's going to take me around the neigborhood when he gets home.
All in all, life is good.

Edit: Finished a new video on my youtube. Look it up, people!

Zombie Shots

I've noticed that in almost all pictures taken of me lately, I look like a zombie. While some might be attracted to this zombie image, I am not. Can't wait for summer so I can go to Cape San Blas and get my tan on. I'm tired of gray skin. :/

My Annual Valentine's Day Rant

I know you guys are sick of hearing me rant 24/7, but oh well. You're going to hear it again...
Valentine's Day = Singles Awareness Day.
Because on this day, if you are single, you will be made painfully aware of it.
*raises hand*
That would be me.
I seem to be perpetually single, did anyone ever notice that?
And it's not like I really want a boyfriend (which is what most people seem to think), because I don't. I don't want some guy tying me down, trying to get all snuggly and junk.
*yuck*
I like being by myself. It's how I've always been.
(I might just be scared to get too close to anyone.... Ever thought of that?)
I guess all I really need is to know that somewhere out there, someone cares about me. But you know what? I can't accept that either. I don't see how anyone could love me. I'm not attractive at all, I'm a total braniac (which no one likes, btw): I'm just plain odd.
I might change my last name to that... Odd. Paige Odd. Sounds about right, doesn't it?
Even when people at church or whatever say stuff like "Jesus loves you!" or "God loves you!" I don't believe it. I don't see how anyone on this Earth or off it could ever love someone like me 100% unconditionally. I believe that God is out there and he has a purpose for us, but I'm not really sure on all the other points, you know?
Maybe I just need to look around more...

You Know Who You Are

Will people please stop telling me what I shouldn't do when they don't even really know me?! Seriously, kiddo. You've just torn my heart out! You don't really know me; you find out that I don't like me and you're all like "Well, change then." That's not how it works. I can't change how I look, my personality... It's not like I can turn into a different person over night. if it was just one thing, I could do that. But it's not, so leave me the hell alone!

Too Shy To Scream

But I'm going to anyways.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I just got in my tickets to AFI's Nashville show!! But, I didn't even know they were coming, so it was a total surprise. It's part of my belated birthday present from my uncle.
He's taking me to see AFI!!!
And even better, I get to miss school to do it.
I love being me sometimes.
Today was crap on a bun, so this just made it all worthwhile!

P.S. Look forward to some awesome shizz as Panduh and I are BOTH going!

Yay!!

And they finally figured out the deal with my wrist.
1.) One of my bones is apparently growing a new one, but it's not the cause of the pain. That was just some wacked up genetic thing.
2.) I have some sort of disorder that makes my tendons cross and so when I move my wrist, it causes friction. I have to get an injection to help the inflammation and go to occupational therapy.

Gotta Love It

So, since I've been crippled, I've not been able to draw, remember?
So what does someone like me do with that free time?
I do what I do best, of course!
Play video games!
So, I've been so into my new games (Fable II and Bioshock), that I haven't remembered to get online in days. Now that I have, dad just grounded me.
So, who knows when I'll be back!

ACT Scores Are IN!!!

Just got my ACT scores in: 27!!!!!
Yay!!!
I got a 30 in English
26 in math
27 in reading
23 in Science

Look! A Super-Late New-Years Post!!!

Happy new years!!!
((on January 6th!!))